im gonna let it shine.

sometimes I look at my life and there seems to be a hole. I forget about the fire and joy that I once had and rather look at all the negative things that are going on.

like... how I work at Tim Hortons everyday, am asked to be a supervisor, am a

supervisor, and rather than it being a benefit, I get ripped off by babysitting and

not getting paid for it. Or how I never see my family, because we all have opposite

schedules, or how I am feel lonely so often.

however, looking back at these times of depression, loneliness, self pity, and annoyance, I am reminded of what God has done for me. God has given me an awesome opportunity at Tim Hortons. The owners there love me and I get along with them really well. Sure the money is not that great for the amount of work that I do, but I do get 32 hours a week on top of what I am already working for my dad. This summer has been difficult in seeing my family because of our opposite schedules, however the times that we do see each other are special and times that I treasure. And the times that I am alone give me huge opportunities to build on my relationship and engage in the indescribable, incredible, everlasting, infinite love that God has for me.

Contentment. Something the enemy seems to consistently try to take away. The children's song that is so simple but beautiful is this little light of mine.

This little light of mine.

I'm gonna let it shine.

This little light of mine.

I'm gonna let it shine.

Let it shine, Let it shine, Let it shine.

Don't let satan blow it out...

Hide it under a bushel, No...

But let it shine till Jesus comes...

I'm gonna let it shine.

life in this world is frustrating, unfulfilling, annoying, and painful. However, knowing that following Christ is a choice - a pretty good one at that. Knowing myself that I strive for a better relationship with God and to live for His glory, verses like 1 Corinthians 9:23-25 are a continual encouragement to press on. Paul writes, "I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings. Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever."

And then Jesus' words in Matthew 16: 24-26 are such a challenge to really choose Him. Not be lukewarm but rather on fire for him, having that little light BURN. "Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"

Deny himself.

Take up his cross.

Follow Him.

Thats some powerful stuff. Give it all. Everything I know, and am comfortable with, 'deny' to follow Him. But then there is a promise, whoever wants to save his life, will lose it; but whoever loses his life for me, will find it.

If my life that I am living is one of discontentment and loss, why not lose it. Sure, the life I have is predictable, I know what will happen, I am comfortable, however, comfort isn't part of the promise.

"whoever, loses his life for me will find it."

losing it. and finding it.

losing what I know, to find the promised beautiful unknown.

And because of this beautiful unknown, I can say, 'It is well, it is well with my soul.'